Enough's enough
by Jellicos
Summary: CS story based on Weeping Willows. The only person to speak up is the least expected one. But there's something more lurking beyond that blond surface. [SLASH, a little angst and M rating] Girls in love: Love it or leave it:p
1. Chapter 1

So, this is my first attempt at a CSI fanfic.  
Just a few **Warnings:** This is _fem slash_! The pairing is of curse _Catherine/Sara_, if you don't like it, don't read it. Major spoilers for Episode 22, season 5; _Weeping Willows_, and pretty much everything up to that as well. I've altered the universe a bit to fit my story, I hope you don't mind  
Oh! The first few statements from Novak are ripped _directly_ from the original script in Weeping Willows!  
I own nothing, suing would be a waste of time, I'm utterly broke:).  
So, read, review and enjoy!  
Please tell me what you think! This is all new territory for me.  
Sara's POV

Love,  
Jellicos

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter one: Enough's enough**

I can't say I'm happy with it, but I'm doing my job. I know Catherine and Grissom are behind the glass and I try not to let this jerk get to me. But the way he talks...

I let Det. Vartann interview him. Adam Novak. The bastard is actually grinning!

"At a bar that time of night, we're all after the same thing, aren't we? I came onto her. She was into me. I know when a woman is going to give way and believe me, she was there." He's looking at the mirror, he knows that she's listening to him. Then he looks at me, and there's that grin again before he looks down my cleavage. I really shouldn't hit him.

"And then what?" Vartann keeps him talking. He knows better than to let me open my mouth right now.

"I walked her out. I put my arm around her waist. She moved in. One minute she's got her tongue down my throat. The next, she puts the brakes. She's a bitch and a tease." I'm going to smack that smirk off his face!

I realise that I'm standing, glaring at him. For a second he looks intimidated, but not for long. I know Vartann is getting ready to intercept, so I just walk out.

My mind not working, due to the fierce urge to do some real damage to this slime, I find myself racing into the nearest room. No words are forming in my head to describe this sudden attack of rage. I find myself in the break room, kicking a hole in the wooden door of a cupboard. 'Damn, that hurt!'

"Hey, what did that door do to you?" Warricks voice startles me, but I don't turn.

'Fuck!' I sit on the sink and bury my face in my hands. 'I'm going insane.'

"I'm trying not to kick the suspects face in." I say, pulling my hands through my hair and wishing I'd just kicked Novac's kneecap and not that door.

"The Novak-guy?" Warrick asks. He looks at me with slight concern and I sigh.

"Yeah." Wait! How can he be so calm about this? "You should have heard him!" I realise my voice is quite loud by now, but I can't find it in me to care. "Talking about her as if she was some kind of toy, a piece of meat!" I'm ignoring the looks he's giving me. Why am I the only one to find this appalling! "That slime doesn't even deserve to be in the same room as Catherine! Let alone.." I can't finish. My heart is racing and I really do want to hit someone right now.

"Why are you taking this so personally?" He asks and I glare at him. How can he ask me that! "You've met worse guys in interrogation before."

"God damn it Warrick...!" I can only sigh. What answer is he looking for? Besides the obvious ones? But as I avert my eyes to think, I see her standing in the doorway. How long has she been standing there? How much did she hear? Wait. Is she crying? But I find no time to ask any of this 'cause as soon as she catches me eye, she's gone.

"Catherine, wait!" I try, but she's gone. Instead there is a confused Grissom in the doorway now. He looks at me, then at the disappearing Catherine, then back at me.  
"Sara, my office." He says bluntly.

"Just give me-" I try but he cuts me off.

"Now, Sara." And walks away.

"Fuck." I look at Warrick and get a sympathetic look, before heaving myself of the sink.

"Sit." He gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk. If he notices my searing fury, he's ignoring it quite well. But I sit.

"Want to tell me what this is all about?" He asks me in that same emotionless voice. I hate when he does that!

"Which part?" I ask dryly.

"The part when you storm out of an interrogation room." He replies.

"It was either that or being arrested for assault." If he's playing it cool, then so am I. Grissom just looks at me, then he turns his gaze upwards to the door.

"Have a seat Catherine." He says, and I feel my brain go numb again. Crap! She didn't just hear that as well? But there's no readable expression in her face as she sits down in the chair next to me.

"Assault?" Grissom has turned back to me and I stare at him in disbelief. He doesn't really expect me to carry on this conversation with Catherine in the room? But apparently he does, since he looks at me as if expecting an answer. He sighs before continuing. "What's gotten in to you Sara?" I think he can actually hear me snap.

"Me!" I realise I'm standing again. ""Look, I know I might have been out of line, but I have no intention on shutting up my emotions all the time. I can't do that. Not any more. I've been doing it for too long. I'm not like you, I actually feel something once in a while. And right now I'm starting to feel sorry that I held back instead of kicking that pathetic worms ass! For Christ sake! Everyone walks around here and acts like human interaction is like the eighth death sin or something, and when one in the team -a friend!- makes one error of judgement, you treat her like the culprit for being human! Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not just going to sit there and listen to him talk about her like that. I wasn't the interrogating officer and I didn't punch his face in, so be happy about that!"

As I turn to storm out I see her looking at me, but she averts her eyes in an instant. "I'm sorry Catherine." That's all I manage to say before the tears start to burn. I can't see her like this, and I'm not about to let any of them see me cry, so I burst out.

For the second time in just a few minutes I'm almost running down the hallways, not knowing where to go or what to do. But as I reach the end of the hallway I realise that it's as deserted as always. There's almost never anyone in this part of the building. So I flee into the filing room.

Think, I need to think. Pull yourself together Sidle!

I'm pacing the dust covered floors, trying to get some sense into what just happened. But my brain refuses to work with me. There are too many thoughts. Why doesn't anyone react? How can they just sit there and listen to him talk about her like that? And why the hell did she have her tongue down his throat and not mine? Wow. I stop in mid pace. Where the hell did that come from? But I know the answer. I know I reacted with more intensity because of this. Jelausy. Suddenly I'm almost more angry with Catherine than Novak. What the hell was she doing kissing that prick anyway?

"Sara?" The voice is no louder than a whisper, still it startles me. She really has the worst timing ever!

"Hey Cath." I refuse to look at her. Those eyes will be the death of me, I swear it.

"What's going on?" Her voice is soft and emotionless, but there is a certain demand in it. The kind where you do not refuse to answer. Not entirely anyway.  
"There's a hell of a lot going on. Care to be more precise?" Damn it Sara, stop being sarcastic all the time!

"You know what I'm talking about." She states, but there's no accusation in her voice. "The interrogation, scolding Grissom..."

"I'm sorry if I made this all more uncomfortable for you. I didn't mean to." What the hell Sara? I thought you where mad at her? And why are you being so honest and sharing all of a sudden?

Who am I kidding? I've been dying to open up to this woman. Damn those eyes of hers! I still haven't looked at her, but I can feel her eyes on me.

"No, you didn't... It's just.. well, it's just not like you to, well-" She's rambling

"It's not like me to lash out in anger?" Yep, there's the sarcasm again. Well done Sidle.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" In sudden surprise I finally meet her eye and I'm greeted with shooting daggers of rage. But there is more in her eyes and that's what keeps me from arguing back. There is pain, confusion and… well, the last part I'm imagining. I look away. I have to stop imagining things!

"Many things Catherine." Well, it's the truth isn't it? Even if it isn't what she's asking.

I'm sure she's going to walk out, but when she speaks, she's even closer than before.

"I'm the one that screwed up. Why are you freaking out and defending me?" She seems suspicious.

"That's what this is about?" I ask. "That I defended you?"

"Well, it's somewhat unprecedented, but no. It's not just that."

"Then what?" Why am I being so defensive? Oh, right. It's Catherine.

"Grissom, for one!" She's almost shouting. But then she lowers her voice. "And what you told Warrick..." There's something in her voice I can't identify. I'm sure that if I look at her I'll see it, but I'm not that brave.

"You weren't supposed to hear that." My voice hardly carries my words. I wish she hadn't brought that up.

"Still..." She's seeking an answer.

"What do you want from me Catherine?" I turn from her, trying to increase the space between us. This is taking a most uncomfortable turn.

"I want to know why." She's not budging.

"Why?" That's it Sidle, pretend you're too stupid to understand a simple sentence.

"You heard me." She's getting annoyed.

"Look… The guy was a pig and I snapped, okay?" Well, it's kind of true…

"No, there's more." Damn it. Why does she have to be such a damn good investigator?

"Why do you care?" I finally look up at her and for a moment I think I might be hallucinating again. But she averts her eyes before I can make up my mind. Is she blushing? No. Not Catherine.

"I, well, I just do, alright?" Is she stammering? What's going on here? Wait…

"No… No, you're hiding something." Now it's my turn to play investigator. But as I walk up to her she backs away.

"Just forget it. Forget I asked." She doesn't look at me and starts walking to the door.

"Hey, you came to me." Nice Sidle! Kick her while she's lying. What's wrong with me?

But she's gone. And my head is spinning even more.

What was all that about? What is she hiding? There was something in her eyes, something warm and- And it was all wishful thinking. It had to be.

I shake my head as if trying to shake some sense into my thoughts. Catherine's straight. End of discussion. She was making out with a guy as late as last night for Christ sake!

She doesn't know how I feel about her and that's for the best. I know all the buttons to push that makes her want to strangle me. It's so much easier if she hates me. I just have to ignore the pain her angry glances cause me. Small price compared to getting your heart ripped out.

I've got to get out of this room. I've got work to do.

But I still can't shake the thought that there was more to it. That she's hiding something.

Right. Back to reality, back to work and back to the angry glances of the woman I love.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now... look at the little button on the left of your screen. Isn't it pretty? Go on, push the pretty little button! I know you want to... come on... see how nice and shiny blue it is? Push the pretty blue button and tell me what you think!


	2. Stubborn

I don't know what to say... I wrote the first chapter out of frustration, not really thinking whether or not I'd continue. And then... Christ on a stick! I've never had so much feedback! **Thank you all SO much**! I hope I don't let you down with this... Please tell me what you think:)  
(And yes, it's sooo gotten to my head:) )

Love,  
Jellicos

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter two: Stubborn**

But for the rest of the shift, there are no angry glances.

In fact, I don't see her at all. I know we've got a lot of work tonight, but this is a small lab, so I decide to ask around.

"Hey, Greggo!" How he gets that hair of his to stand on end like that is beyond me.

"Sara! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Greg looks at me with a fake expression of horror, holding his hand to his chest in a most theatrical way.

"Yes, this is just one step in my plan to slowly kill you with greeting phrases." My sarcasm is awarded with a smile. Well, at least there's someone in this building that doesn't hate my guts.

"I heard about the Novak interrogation." He states. Maybe I was too quick in that last remark.

"Go on, let me have it." I sigh and sit down. I might as well get it over with. At least I know Greg will be somewhat human about it.

"You should have kicked his ass." Wait. What? But as I look up, Greg is still smiling. Okey, so he doesn't hate me. I give him a tired laugh.

"I kind of wish I had." I admit before remembering why I'd come in here in the first place. "Have you seen Catherine around?" I ask, trying to sound as casual as possibly, but by the look on Greg's face I'm not doing a very good job at it. His smile has turned into one of his famous smirks and he looks practically giddy.

"I love it when you play coy." I have to restrain my urges to slap him over the head.

"Shut up, I'm serious." And my words seem to have the desired effect, because now he's looking at me with an almost concerned expression.

"She left early." Catherine left work early? "She said she needed some time with Lindsey and that she had maxed out on overtime anyway."

"Grissom just let her go?" This was starting to get really unnerving.

"He pretty much shoved her out the door." At least Greg isn't looking to happy about it either. But I can feel my blood start to boil. That man needs some serious personality skills! "And he's not in, so you can't kick his ass either." Greg, get out of my head! How does he do that?

"Fine." I sigh again, admitting defeat. "I'll start working on the bullets." I'm not sure if he replied or not, my heart is beating so fast I can't hear. But the irony isn't quite lost on me. Usually I'm the one to hackle Catherine for her bad taste in men or making any mistake in a case. Now I seem to be the only one who's not turning on her. What's wrong with these people?

Well, on the bright side… If anyone still thinks I have the hots for Grissom they're in for a big surprise.

-------------

It takes me practically the rest of the shift to process the ballistics. There isn't much to find, both bullets from both victims match. The cross contamination at the lab makes it hard to test anything else. I decide to go find Grissom before I leave, and I find him in his office, admiring his collection of strange things in glass jars. What a surprise.

I remember when I used to idolize this man for his skills. I guess that stopped when I realised his incompetence for dealing with anything that wasn't dead. Not that I'm great with people. We used to joke about preferring the dead to the living, but in Grissom's case I think he was serious. Alright, so maybe I was too at the time. But things change, and unlike my boss I _do_ know how to stick my head up from the books and face the world occasionally.

Naturally he doesn't notice me standing in the doorway. I should be used to it. So I make my presence known.

"Hey, Grissom." Again, I fail in sounding casual, but Grissom doesn't notice.

"Hey Sara." He turns and looks at me. "What can I do for you?" A million things fly through my mind, but I restrain myself from committing professional suicide. I don't really hate him; I just really don't like him at the moment.

"Did you talk to Catherine?" A casual angle is the best way to go.

"Yeah, she wasn't feeling well and wanted to spend some time with her daughter." He turns from me to sit down at his desk. A desk is probably a good thing to have between us right now.

"So, you just let her go?" I ask. "Without asking her how she was coping?" Okey, I accuse.

"Should I have?" He cannot be this clueless! It's humanly impossible! "She seemed fine, and honestly I don't think having her work this case would be such a good idea anyway." Calm down Sidle. Lashing out at him again isn't going to help anyone.

"When did she leave?" I repeat the same sentence in my mind over and over again 'Lashing out isn't going to help anyone. Lashing-'

"A while after our conversation in here." Screw this! It may not help anyone, but it will make me feel much better!

"So you just let her walk out?" And now I'm shouting again. "You didn't even bother to check if she was alright, which she obviously wasn't if she left shift so early. Look, I don't know what the hell she was thinking, letting that man-"I pause and I think even Grissom can see me shudder at the mental image I just got. And damn it if he doesn't take the chance to cut me off.

"Look, Sara. If this yelling is going to become a regular thing-"Fine, I can play that game.

"Did you even listen to me?" I really hate when he does that!

"I heard you." He says calmly and I try to calm myself down as well. "And as long as it doesn't affect her work, I prefer to keep myself out of Catherine's privet life."

"And you don't consider what went down today to be affecting her work?" I may be angry, but at least I'm not yelling anymore.

"Sara, if you're that upset I suggest that you go talk to Catherine yourself." I just glare at him.

"Like I haven't tried." I mutter.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing." I say dryly. "I'm off, I'll see you tonight." I turn and walk out before he has a chance to say anything else. I see Nick and Warrick down the hall but decide to ignore them. They obviously heard me yelling and I'm in no mood to explain it to them.

I need to blow off some steam. A long run though the park before I go to bed would do the trick. My mind is racing and I've managed to get home, get changed and run several miles before I even know where I am. After a quick shower I'm lying in bed not able to sleep. Catherine's face keeps popping into my mind as soon as I close my eyes. What is she hiding? Why was she crying? What was it in her eyes that made my heart play an entire symphony? My brain is too tired to think, but the questions won't leave me alone.

'That's what you get for falling in love with a co-worker.' A little voice in my head tells me. I tell it to shut up, but it doesn't listen. Those annoying little voices never do.

It keeps ringing in my mind when I drift off to sleep. Like I needed the reminder.

----------------------------

The break room is empty as I return to work the next night. For once I'm not several hours early, just ten minutes. But I'm relieved to be able to drink my morning coffee alone.

I have no desire what so ever to discuss the awkward situation in the lab just now and as I sit down with my coffee I allow my thoughts to wander for a moment. Naturally they haven't changed much since I went to bed and the same questions keep emerging into my head. But with them comes a new one; How am I going to deal with all of this? I suddenly realize that I can't just leave it all as it is. Catherine might hate me, but she's in pain and for some reason I seem to be the only one to notice. But then again, I'm probably the last person on earth that she'd ever confide in.

Since Grissom managed to pull out the dark secrets of my childhood, I've been going to therapy once in a while. Alright, not as often as I should probably, but still, it has helped me cope with many of my issues.

Back then I had no one to confide in, and I'm still thankful that Grissom took the time to listen and not let me kick him out. Why wasn't he doing the same with Catherine?

Maybe that is what it would take, to corner her until she had no other option that to tell me?

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even realize that I wasn't alone until someone pokes me in the ribs.

"Ow! Greg, what the-?" I turn to argue with him, when I realize that the whole team is sitting in the break room. "Oh…"

"Thinking about me?" Greg flashes me a grin.

"You wish." I grin back, but Greg's reply is cut off by Grissom clearing his throat.

"Since we're all here..." He starts, giving me a puzzled look. "I have your assignments for tonight. It's going to be a tough shift. Nick, you're with me on the shootings. Warrick and Greg, I've got a double homicide for you two. And ladies… a DB in the woods outside Henderson for you" He turns one folder over to Warrick and the other to Catherine. She looks as if she's about to protest, but just sighs and takes the folder, not giving any indication that she realizes I'm in the room. This is going to be a long night.

"Fine, let's get this over with." She's already on her way out the door when she turns. "I'm driving." And she's off to the locker room. Yep. A long night.

---------------------

It's more than an hour's drive, and since Catherine is ignoring my existence it seems even longer.

As we arrive, two uniforms are waiting at the scene. I grab my kit and get out of the car, but Catherine is faster and is already talking to the officers as I get there.

"It's nasty." I hear the young officer say as I walk up. He seems quite pale and I can smell the decaying corpse from where I'm standing. Poor kid's probably never seen anything like it before. "The vic's down there." He points down a sloping hill.

"How about COD, TOD or ID?" Catherine asks. Well, whatever is wrong, she's not letting it interfere with her work. I take in the surroundings automatically. We're standing on a dirt road in the middle of the woods. The trees are not close together and there are patches of grass between them. The side of the road slopes down into the woods and you can't see where it ends. It's a nasty road to drive in the dark.

"Couldn't tell you." The poor kid seems to be loosing a battle against nausea. "The body's been lying there for some time; you'll have to ask the coroner." He turns to the point where he'd indicated the scene. "He's down there with the vic."

"Alright, you go get some air." I tell him and he looks at me in relief before rushing away. Catherine however gives me a look of death for butting in on her territory before walking down the slope to the scene. With a sigh I follow. How long is this going to continue?

David greets me with a big smile, but his face is slightly contorted by the sickening smell of what used to be a human body in front of him.

"Hey Dave, what have we got here?" I bend over the body, deciding to ignore Catherine's angry stares for the time being.

We work in silence but with stunning precession. She may never like me, but we've always worked extremely well together. Catherine seems to notice it as well, 'cause several hours later, when we're packing up, she seems to be in a much better mood. She even takes the time to speak to me.

"Nice work, Sara." I look at her as she backs us out on the dirt road. Her first words to me all shift is a compliment?

"Thanks, you too." My astonishment is quite evident in my voice.

"Would you mind getting these bags to trace as we get back?" Her voice is emotionless and she never takes her eyes off the road.

"Sure thing." She looks at me. I guess she's suspicious at my cooperation.

"Alright, what's going on?" I know her too well. And I can't help but repress a smirk at this thought, not succeeding entirely.

"You're asking me? You're the one who's been acting all moody the entire shift!" Ok, so I'm not great at all this 'be-nice'-stuff. Sue me.

"Just forget it." She mumbles, starring out on the road.

"You're not getting of that easily Willows." I say with a smirk. My playful tone seems to register with her since she doesn't start yelling.

"Why do you care anyway?" She sounds hurt, but I can't see her expression.

"Because it seems that you need someone to care. And Grissom isn't helping any." Nice cover Sidle.

"What are you after Sidle?" Okey, fair question I guess. But I hate it when she uses my last name. I sigh.

"Look, I know we've never been close, or even friends for that matter…"

"That's an understatement." I feel my blood boiling. As she looks at me, the hurt and anger must be vivid in my eyes since her eyes flash with guilt before she turns away.

I need to hold my calm to get through this. I would be blowing everything by yelling at her now. Steady, Sidle, steady…

"All I'm saying is that you look like you need someone to lean on, and I'm here."

"You're serious." Catherine looks at me in such shock you'd think I just asked her to marry me. Great, now I'll have that thought in my mind all day.

"Well, the rest of the team is acting like a bunch of assholes." I shrug. "I'm on your side Catherine, take it or leave it." She looks at me with dismay. Well, I'm glad we're on pavement now or the car might just run off the road.

"Did Gil put you up to this?" Christ! She really is thick sometimes.

"Don't insult me Catherine." I snort. "Grissom is as clueless as ever." Time to face her. I turn slightly in my seat as to look straight at her. "Look, I know something is bothering you.

Catherine doesn't open her mouth. She doesn't even look at me. I give her a few moments, but she stares decisively at the road ahead.

"Fine." I turn back in my seat. "But if you decide to stop being so damn stubborn, give me a call. You know where I live if you decide you want to talk."

She finally takes her eyes of the road to look at me. I can't really read her expression, but there's a hint of amusement in it.

"Sara Sidle is calling _me_ stubborn?"

"Bad sign, eh?" And a wide smirk spreads across my face.

-------------------------------------------------

Now... se the cute _Lavendar_ button on your left? Go on, You know you want to:)


	3. Old patterns

Oh, trust me my darlings, there _will_ be smut :) I cannot possibly write a Sara/Catherine fic without smut, it's just far too much fun.  
And yes, Sara's the 'caring one' in this fic. I got so tired of Sara always being the one in need of rescue. Both of them have a _lot_ of issues...  
And _thank you all for your reviews_, for supplying me with my oxygen.  
I hope you'll like this chapter as well. And as always, please let me know what you think! The _lavender_ button is on your left at the very bottom of the page :)  
Enjoy!

Love,  
Jellicos  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter three:**

She didn't speak to me much during the rest of the shift. I had expected as much. But there was something else that bothered me. I would catch her glancing at me nervously every now and then. Catherine was acting really strange. Which in her case is saying a lot.

I didn't mention Novak or anything else that wasn't related to the case at hand until I caught her in the locker room after shift. She was sitting on the bench, her back towards me. I don't think she even noticed that I'd stepped into the room. Her mind was in a completely different place and if she'd look any tenser I would have sworn she'd bounce like a spring at the slightest noise.

"Catherine?" I call out to her carefully, but I get no reaction. "Cath?" I walk up to her, but she still doesn't seem to notice my presence.

I can't control myself. I feel so bad for her and the urge to just take all the pain away washes over me. Before my mind has time to react, my hands are rubbing her shoulders, easing the tension away from her neck, while the soft skin under my hands seems electric to the touch.

To my surprise, Catherine doesn't pull away. Instead she leans into my touch and I can feel how tense she really is. God, Sara, this is really not a good idea. The tiny voice in my head is back and I know its right. My whole body is signaling the very same thing. But the feel of her skin through the thin fabric of her blouse is addictive. And her unconscious response to my touch is far to arousing. Her head tilts slightly to the right, bringing with it a cascade of blond waves. I realize she's closed her eyes and a soft moan escapes her lips as she leans further back to my hands. I need to pull back, and when I do she finally looks at me. Her warm blue eyes are tired. At first she looks confused as if she's surprised at my retreat. But that seems to be something she didn't mean for me to see, because again she averts her eyes. When she meets my eye again she looks as if she's on the verge of tears and the pain is far too evident in her face. 'I'll kill those guys' I tell myself. 'I'll kill them all.' There is no doubt that Nick and Grissom must have put her through hell on the Novak-case. Yet I cannot seem to shake the feeling that there is something else causing her this pain as well. Something she's both trying to tell me and in the same time, desperately trying to hide from me. She succeeds in the latter.

"How are you holding up Catherine?" I ask her. The softness of my voice must confuse her because her weary expression is suddenly studying me as if trying to find some hidden evidence of foul play. I sigh. I can't do this. Not if she's going to continue treating me with this suspicion –which I'm still aware isn't entirely misplaced. But it hurts, more than I care to admit.

"Fine." I grab my jacket from my locker and try not to slam the door; neither of us needs my anger at the moment. "If you need to talk you know where to find me." She's still looking at me, questioning my actions and words with her gaze as I start walking out. I take one last glance at her when I reach the door. She doesn't look at me, but the sight on the locker room bench bewilders me. She looks so hurt that for a moment I stand frozen, wondering if I should go back.

Catherine turns; the pain in her eyes is enough to make my heart break. But the expression shifts so suddenly that I think I might have imagined it all if my heart wasn't still hurting.

She looks angry now and I'm more confused than ever.

"Aren't you gone yet?" She almost hisses at me. God, I don't need this! I need a good seven mile run. What's the matter with her anyway? I send her one of my death glares before slamming the door shut behind me. What the fuck is going on with her? And why do I even care?

Oh, right… it's Catherine.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Exhausted but fulfilled I spend a good half an hour in the shower. If there's anything in this world that can clear my head better than a long run, I haven't found it.

The scent of my expensive shampoo and shower-gel relaxes me even more. So I have a few indulges. There are not many places in which I can feel completely at ease, but for some reason the shower is one of the few. The water streaming down my body has an almost hypnotic effect on me. So I allow myself the luxury of spending a little extra on fine shower gels, exotic shampoos, and herbal conditioner.

I'm feeling better than I have in days as I slip into my pajamas and as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm sleeping.

'Stupid monkeys, stop banging those coconuts! They'll never open and you're giving me a headache.' I stir and realize that the noise that has woken me up has nothing to do with the monkeys in my dream. It takes me a while longer to realize that someone is banging on my door. With a disgruntled groan I turn the alarm clock on my nightstand to reveal the time. I've only been asleep for half an hour! The banging continues and I reluctantly get out of my warm and oh-so-soft bed. Whoever it is I'm going to break their arms.

I stumble into the hallway while rubbing most of the sleepiness out of my eyes, preparing a range of obscenities to yell at this intruder before slamming the door in their face.

But as I open the door, the words get stuck in my throat.

"Catherine?" Am I still sleeping? She looks so small, as if she's trying to vanish by taking up as little space as possible. Her hands are crossed in front of her and she's looking down on her shoes. I've never seen her like this. And it kind of scares me.

"I'm sorry; I probably shouldn't have come here. I just…" She trails off. When she looks up to catch my eye I suddenly wish she'd kept looking at her shoes. There are too many emotions for me to decipher, but the most evident is the pain-striking despair. "I had nowhere else to turn." Her voice is just above a whisper and her eyes are both insecure and pleading. I waste no time to usher her inside.

"Come in." I let her pass me in the narrow hallway before closing the door. "Can I get you some coffee?" I ask and she nods. I'm suddenly thankful that I always keep a fresh pot on.

When I come back with two steaming cups in my hands, she's standing in the exact same place as she was when I left her. I place one cup in her hand and then almost pull her over to the sofa.

I watch her as I sip my coffee, giving her a chance to start talking. She hasn't touched her coffee, but looks at it intensely as it rests in both of her hands.

"He was at my house when I arrived." Her voice is stronger now, but distant. I watch her, not saying a word. Mostly because I really have no idea what she's talking about yet. "He was just standing there, talking to my mom and Lindsey. I dialed 911 before walking up to them, leaving the cell in my car. He was acting like he was this charming colleague of mine, standing in front of my house, talking to my baby…" She stopped. Her fingers had grabbed the cup much harder now and her fingertips where turning white.

"Novak was at your house?" I felt my anger rise as well as she nodded. "How did he get your address?" Ok, Sara, not the most important question right now.

"He works at the district attorneys office; I don't think it was a difficult task to find it." She states with a sigh.

"What happened?" There you go Sara; a much more relevant question.

"I told mom to take Linds into the house, he started accusing me, I drew my gun as he started to become aggressive, and then the cops came…" She'd just stated this whole range of events as if reciting a testimony from a witness in a case.

Vivid images of myself punching the crap out of this guy flashed before me. No, I had to control my own anger for Catherine's sake.

I still couldn't quite believe that she was sitting here, on my couch, opening up to me.

"I'm glad you came Catherine." I say softly, placing my coffee cup on the table.

"Why?" The sudden question startled me and she turned to face me for the first time since she'd got here.

"Sorry?" I'm not grasping her train of thought anymore.

"Why are you glad I came?" Again I sigh. What is this? I had expected some hostility from her, but this was bordering on paranoia.

"Because I care." Better play it safe.

"You _care_?" Is she accusing me or disbelieving my words? The tone of her voice and her much too strong emphasis on the word 'care' makes me think she feels the word to be an insult. But what was she expecting? I decide to take the bull by its horns.

"What's really going on Catherine?" I ask and it couldn't be more evident that I'm on to something here, because she starts starring intensely at her cup again.

"I don't know what you mean." But her voice deceives her and that makes me even more worried. Catherine has always been such a good liar if she's been forced to.

"Then why are you blushing?" I say as I realize that her face has turned a soft pink. At my words, the pink grows stronger and she looks away in the opposite direction, trying to hide her face entirely.

"I'm not." God! She's acting like three year old!

"Cath…" I take her arm and pull her to face me. With much effort I try not to gasp as she turns. Her eyes are red and tears are falling down her cheeks. She tries to turn away, but I place my hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at me. I wipe her tears with my thumbs as my free hand cradles her other cheek.

"Catherine…" I say her name lovingly, tasting it, wishing I could claim it. But for now I'm satisfied with letting it roll of my tongue in the softest manner I know. "…I know you're hurting, you wouldn't be here if you weren't. So let me help you."

She sighs.

"I couldn't care less about Novak." The statement throws me off, but I let her continue. "He was just another mistake. One of many." Do I really want to hear this? "It has been my way to feel wanted and desired without getting hurt." She lets out a hollow laugh. "I guess it backfired on me this time."

"You can't walk down a street without being wanted and desired." I blurt out before my mind has time to react. But to my surprise she smiles at me. I swear, this woman is getting stranger by the minute. And I thought I had her somewhat figured out. I wasn't even close.

"Do _you_ want me Sara?" I jump. Did she say what I thought she said? Am I dreaming all this? I must be. That sultry voice of hers, those dark eyes and seductive smile, they have never been for me. Only in my best of dreams have they been directed at me, but not like this.

I cannot open my mouth. My words are stuck. She render me numb with those eyes of hers.

Then it's back. The excruciating pain that fills her eyes and breaks my heart, and she's standing.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." She says, her voice hurting me, showing the very same pain as her eyes. Before I can react to what's happened she's gone.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Yes, I'm evil and I love cliffhangers :)  
And as you know my ego helps me write, so reviews help me update faster (and shamelessly fish for reviews –_evil smirk_-)  
And look… there it is! The pretty lavender button… :)


	4. Why?

I'm sorry for the delay and the short chapter. I've been wallowing in HP-mania for a while.  
This chapter has two dedications; one to my lovely reviewers who keep me going! You rock!  
The second is to Angelique, Emily, Laura and the rest of the crew at C/S for inspiring me. You're amazing, all of you!

So, Have fun and I hope you'll like it!

Love, Jellicos!

----------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter Four: Why?**

As I reach the parking lot outside my apartment building I'm fuming. If I wasn't so angry I'd probably wonder why Catherine was still there, sitting in her car and staring out into space. But I'm not. I'm not thinking at all, I'm just pissed off.

I must have frightened her as I snatch open the door to the drivers' seat where she's sitting, because she jumps.

"Sara, what the-"She starts, but I'm too angry to listen.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I'm shouting at her and practically pulling her out of the car.

"Me?" She pulls back her arm from my grip as if I'd been attacking her. She's getting angry too.

"You can't just say something like that and then walk out!" Oh, god she smells great! Focus Sara! You're yelling at her, remember?

"I didn't hear you stop me." There's that hurt voice again, now filled with anger as well.

"You caught me off guard; you didn't give me time to respond!" Why is my voice so high?

"Then do it now." She says. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gives me that look, the look that states 'I dare you' much more clearly than any words could have.

I can't help but smile. This woman gets on my nerves more than anyone ever has! She knows how to push every one of my buttons and she does it on purpose. Yet there's something about her that just makes me want to ravish her right here on the parking lot. She's challenging me, daring me, and she knows that I never back down when challenged.

"Ask me again…" My voice is soft and my smirk widens as she notices. Now I've got the upper hand and she's caught of guard, her lips open slightly in surprise. Damn, she's hot! Those lips will be the death of me… Focus Sara! I notice that she's starring into the ground again.

"Look, just forget it." She says and tries to get back into the car.

"Oh, no! Not this time Catherine." I place my hand on the window of the car door, pinning her between me and the car and at the same time assuring that she doesn't go anywhere.

"Sara…" She looks at me pleadingly and for a moment I forget my anger.

"No." Why did I have to pin her so close? My mind isn't working anymore, her scent fill my senses. "We can do this here or inside, but we're going to talk this through." I give myself a pat on the back. A complete sentence. Good work Sidle!

"Fine." She sighs as pushes past me back to the building. I take a deep breath before I follow her. Sara Sidle, what have you gotten yourself into this time?

----------------------------------------------------

"Can I get you something?" I walk to my kitchen isle to get a fresh cup of coffee. I've never seen her look so uncomfortable before; arms crossed, head to the side; looking at nothing in particular she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. She looks like she's about to run out the door at any moment. I pat myself mentally on the back again for remembering to lock the door this time. At least then I'll have some time to catch up to her when she decides to bolt.

"I'm fine." She speaks for the first time since leaving the parking lot, which made for quite an awkward elevator ride. I return with my cup and gesture for her to sit down on the sofa. She does, though reluctantly.

"So…" I take my time, watching her, not wanting to scare her off again. I can't seem to grasp her. Catherine is usually the confident one. The strong and feisty one who knows she can win anyone over by flashing that sexy smile of hers. Now she looks like a frightened puppy and I have no idea what to do. So I do what I do best. I get straight to the point.

"Catherine, why did you ask me?" She flinches at my words as if I'd just slapped her and I'm even more confused. When she looks up at me she's angry again. I can feel her rage and hurt shoot at me like spears.

"You started it." She states. "You can't walk down a street without being wanted and desired" She's mimicking my earlier word with a mocking tone. That's it. She's crossed the line this time. I can feel the tears starting to burn. Doesn't she know what she's doing to me? Or is she doing this because she knows?

"So that's it?" I'm standing, my voice betrays my hurt and anger but the fact that she's still sitting gives me the upper hand. "It's all a game to you isn't it?" I can't look at her. "You want confirmation so you ask me if I want you. Why do you even care what I think? If you despise me so much that you refuse to let me help you just once, then where the hell do you come off asking me if I want you!" As I turn in rage to face her I find her starring at me from the sofa. There are tears in her eyes.

"How can you think that I despise you?" She whispers. There is no anger, no walls, just hurt. And it breaks my heart all over again. I can't stay mad at her when she's like this. Damn her!

I take a deep breath before sitting down beside her.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" I'm much calmer, but I still need to know. She looks down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Because I'm scared." Her words are just audible, but they pierce my heart none the less.

"Cath…" My voice is low, just above a whisper. And she looks at me. In that moment I realize her fear. In those intense blue eyes, I see what she's so desperately fighting. And I smile. "Ask me…" I say. "Ask me again, and this time I'll give you an answer."

She swallows hard. I know she can see the answer in my eyes because I'm letting her. I'm revealing myself to her in my gaze as she unconsciously did for me just now.

As she answers, her voice is low, husky even, and her hands are trembling.

"Do you want me... Sara?" She knows, but I'll tell her. She's trembling, refusing to look at me and I'm succumbed by arousal by her words.

"Yes Catherine." I whisper. "I want you, I've always wanted you."

She meets my eye, not sure if she's heard me right. She needs confirmation, I know that much now. So I lay my hand on her cheek and caress it slowly as I lean towards her.

----------------------------

-evil cliffies- mwahahaha;)


	5. First Talk

I'm sooo sorry for the delay. I'm blaming it on the distractions of the sweetest girl in the world, who's captured my heart completely. I love you Angel.  
So, back to the story. Enjoy and review!

Love,  
Jellicos

------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter five:**

_'So I lay my hand on her cheek and caress it slowly as I lean towards her.'_

The electricity as your lips brush together is mind numbing. That is why it takes me a while to register the fact that Catherine has pulled away and is now standing with her back towards me and her arms hugging her torso desperately. What the hell is she playing at? My blood is boiling as I rush over to yell at her for toying with me, but as I se the tears falling down her cheeks the words get stuck in my throat.

"I'm sorry…" She whispers, her voice fragile and thick from the tears. Then at last it hits me. Without letting her object, I cradle her in my arms, holding her tight.

"No Catherine. I'm sorry." I say, tears escaping my eyes as well. "I shouldn't have done that." I stroke her hair and feel her relaxing into my embrace. Then it comes. Every ounce of pain she's been hiding for all this time comes out in desperate sobs. For a moment I'm stunned. Catherine Willows, the always so strong, confident and in control super-woman is crying. And she's crying in my arms. I have so little experience in these matters. But the heartbreaking sound of her desperate and painful sobbing brings me back to reality. I can only follow my instinct in this, so I hold her tight, stroking her back and whisper soothing nonsense in her ear. I will not ask her to stop crying. Instead I encourage her to let it all out, telling her that I'll be here, that I'll never leave her side. With my words her crying just intensifies and I'm not sure if I just made everything worse. But she's clinging to me, holding me tight by my waist as she cries on my shoulder.

After what seems like an eternity, her sobbing subsides. She's still holding on to me as if she's afraid that I will run away if she lets go.

I realize that there's much more to this story and that we need to talk this through.

I carefully release myself from her grip enough to meet her eye and immediately realize that I've made a mistake. This time I cannot blame it on hallucination. There is love in her eyes, the same strong, heart wrenching love that she must se in mine. But what throws me even more is the intense desire darkening her blue orbs. I need to pull back, and I need to do it now. We still have some talking to do, and I cannot do that if I'm this close to her.

So I do. Reluctantly I pull away from her embrace; the loss of her warm flesh against mine is pure agony. She's just standing there, watching me. So I tug at her hand to get her to sit next to me on the sofa.

Then I just wait. I sit beside her, watching her and wait. When she finally speaks her voice is cracked and fragile.

"All this time… All these men…" I'm starting to think this might not be such a good idea, I'm not sure I want to hear this. But she continues, staring decisively at her hands, clasped in her knee. "They where just props, something to fill the void." And there she stops. After a few minutes I have to ask.

"The void?" I say carefully, not wanting to scare her off.

"The void that comes when you love someone you know you'll never have." Her whisper is barely audible but the sound of my heart breaking must be ear defining. I had promised to be there for her, but I find it damn near impossible when she speaks of her love for someone else and I cannot face her as she turns to look at me.

"Anyone I know?" My voice is harsher than intended as I turn away from her. Why did I ask that? Do I really want to know who it is?

"Sara, don't be silly." I shoot her a death glare at her soft spoken words.

"Silly!" I'm almost shouting at her. "You come here, playing your little games and then you call me silly!" For what seems to be the hundredth time these past days I find myself standing. I can't look at her so I turn to the window. The weather must have sensed my mood because it's pouring outside, heavy drops of water crashing to their doom on my window.

"Games?" Catherine's voice is heartbreaking. "You think I'm playing games with you?"

"Aren't you?" I snap at her without turning. "You ask me if I want you and when you get your answer you tell me that you love someone else." Catherine's chuckling. How dare she! As I turn to face her in rage I realise that she's standing right in front of me. Her expression changes fast as she sees my anger and suddenly she looks vulnerable again.

"I just assumed…" Catherine's looking down at her shoes again and I get the sudden urge to hold her. "After Grissom and Hank, after all our fights and the way I've treated you…" She takes a deep breath before looking out the window over my shoulder. "I just assumed that you hated me, that there was never any chance that you might…" She trails off. With much effort I place a trembling hand on her cheek.

"That I might what?" I ask, the harshness and anger are gone. Then she looks at me. The deep blue orbs filled with so much emotion that I stop breathing.

And just then it hits me.

"For how long?" I ask, still not able to grasp what is happening.

"Since the time you suggested rootbeer when I asked it there was anything with alcohol in the staff fridge." Catherine is smiling and I chuckle.

"I can't believe it. All this time, why didn't you tell me?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"I was scared." She looks away again, but her expression is enough for me to realise the struggle within her. "I have a daughter, responsibilities, my whole life is about to be turned upside down and it scares me." She sighs heavily and a tear is falling down my cheek. Then she looks at me again and my breath is caught in my throat for a second time. "But not taking the chance scares me even more. I love you Sara." I wasn't prepared for the effect these words would have on me. For a moment I just stare at her, not sure if I'm imagining the whole thing. But as she leans in to kiss me, every doubt I ever had is flushed away in an instant.

People have always told me that the deepest and most honest emotions can only be communicated by a kiss. I always thought them crazy. But Catherine just proved me wrong.

As her lips meet mine, as her tongue searches for entrance and find it, five long years of repressed love and desire comes washing through us like tidal waves. I hear moaning, not sure if they come from her or me, and I don't care. The desperate hunger, the deep love that surges though our kiss is all that my mind is able to register.

When we break apart, only because the lack of air is threatening to knock us unconscious I watch her. Her eyes are still closed; her lips are red and swollen from the kiss and still slightly parted. She's stunning!

"I love you too Cath" I whisper, my voice husky with desire and she opens her eyes. And there it is, the deep raw lust darkening the usually baby blue orbs.

"Bed. Now." She demands, not able to utter a complete sentence. I look at her for a moment with concern. A moment ago she was crying in my arms, I don't want to push her.

"Are you sure Cath… we can wait..." I don't want to wait, but I don't want her to regret anything.

"I can't. I want you Sara. Take me to bed." Her words, her sultry tone… Every thought of slowing down is gone and I take her hand to lead her to my bedroom.

------------------------------------------------

Mwahahaaaa… eeeeeeevil cliffies!  
But no fear, romance, smut and maybe a little angst coming up :)

OOOoooh, look, a lavender button:)


	6. First comes love

Christ on a stick! You guys are just the sweetest! All tanked up on oxygen here comes chapter six, slightly (ok, very) inspired by the sweetest girl to ever grace this earth. I love you Angel  
I hope you will enjoy this little chapter as well, let me know what you think!  
To my amazing readers and reviewers who keep me writing,

Love,  
Jellicos

----------------------------------------------

**Chapter six: First comes love…**

I lead her into the room and as I reach the bed I turn to face her, not sure what to expect. Is she ready for this? Are we moving too fast?

But as I face her my worries are gone, the questions erased from my memory.

She's smiling. A smile that turns my inside liquid. She looks at me like a wildcat would, knowing it has just cornered its prey. And as she moves towards me, the feeling only intensifies. Gracefully, determined, she pushes me onto the bed, mounting me, every movement like a dance, so fluid, so precise. As she tilts her head down to claim my lips I forget how to breathe.

My hands tangle in the silky, blonde hair, wanting her closer, deeper. Tongues are battling, exploring, trying to taste everything at once. Arching up to her, hungry moans vibrate from my throat.

I protest as she pulls away, but only until I se why. She is sitting on top of me, slowly undressing. My fingers gravitate like magnets to the exposed skin of her abdomen.

Her reaction to my careful touch is enough to send me on a power trip to last a lifetime. I watch her in awe. Her flushed skin, tussled hair, lips that are still red and swollen from our kiss are parted, letting shallow erratic breaths slip out.

But her eyes… glazed and dark, capture me and in this moment I know that there is nothing I would ever deny her, nothing I wouldn't do for her. I surrender myself to those eyes, to her.

Memories where made that night, quite possibly for the whole neighborhood to hear.

But seeing her wither beneath me, crying my name as she tumbled over that edge, again and again, I never knew anything to be as beautiful.

That afternoon, falling asleep in her arms, exhausted and sweaty I knew. But it would be a while before I ever told her.

------------------------

I woke that night feeling cold. Opening my eyes I found myself alone in bed. It didn't take me more than a second to panic. Damn it! I fucked up again!

A few moments I sat frozen in bed, not able to think. Should I rush after her? Maybe she's still close by, maybe she hasn't gotten that far yet?

"You're awake." I jump at the soft voice from the doorway. She's standing there, dressed in my robe with two cups of coffee in her hands. And she's beaming.

I have to fight the urge to cry from relief as she comes back into bed and hands me one of the cups.

"I figured some coffee would do us good before shift." She smiles and kisses me softly before taking a sip from her cup. I just watch her, too happy to speak.

"You okay?" She has noticed me starring and looks at me over her cup.

"Perfect." I whisper and take a sip of the hot liquid myself.

----------------------

We had agreed on taking our separate cars to work. Catherine needed to get home to change clothes. And besides, there was no use giving the gang a reason to wonder why we show up to shift together.

Still, I was barely aware of Greg talking as I was sitting in the break room, waiting for her to walk through that door.

"…and then a banana came walking up to me to tell me I was going to be king of munchkin land."

"Huh?" I look away from the doorway and up at Greg who is glaring at me.

"So now you're listening?" He says, smirking at me. I could kick myself. Could you be more obvious Sidle?

"Sorry Greg." I smile apologetically at him, hoping he will drop the matter. But then that is as likely as Grissom becoming a cub-scout leader.

"Waiting for someone?" He is enjoying this way too much.

"Nah, just didn't get much sleep." I say as nonchalant as possible, shrugging.

"Right." His grin broadens alarmingly wide but quickly fades back as I master my most warning 'drop it or die'-glare.

"Man, I'm telling you!" Nick is gesturing wildly as he walks into the room ahead of Warrick who is shaking his head. "Fifty bucks say's I'm right."

"You're on man." Warrick laughs as they shake hands. "I could use that money."

"No, you'll lose that money." Nick smirks at him and Warrick waves him off.

"No way man. I know that girl, I'd know if it was true." He turns away from Nick to fill a cup of coffee.

"You just can't stand that it isn't you." Nick knows he hit the spot with that one and grins as he lunges down in the couch next to Sara.

"Screw you man." Warrick grins back and turns a chair around to straddle it.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" I am way too confused to sit quiet any longer.

"Catherine's in love." Nick grins and winks at Warrick.

"She is not, you're just hallucinating." Warrick cuts in.

"Really?" Greg looks at me with a bit more amusement than makes me comfortable, but at the moment all my efforts are being occupied with preventing myself from kicking my co-workers faces in.

"You two have one hell of a nerve talking about Catherine like that after the way you've treated her the past few days!" Sure Sara, why not lash out on the rest of the team as well. How dare they!

"Look, Sara, we didn't mean-"Nick starts but I'm too angry to let him try to save his pathetic ass with his low nonsense logic.

"Of curse you didn't! You never mean to do anything Nick, but you did. And if you had any common sense, you'd apologize for being a complete ass to a friend and co-worker, not walking around making bets about things that don't concern you!"

"Everything okay in here?" Grissom always has the worst timing ever.

"Yeah, just peachy." I snap at him and he looks slightly taken off guard.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Hodges was being his usual charming self." Catherine walks halfway into the room before realizing that everyone's gone quiet.

"What? I'm not that late am I?" She looks around the room before fixing her eyes on Nick who has just stood up. His head is drooping slightly as he walks up to her and Warrick takes the hint to follow.

"Catherine, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the way I've acted. I was being a jerk when I should have acted like a friend and supported you." He can barely look at her.

"Yeah, he's right, and I am sorry too." Warrick scratches his neck.

Catherine looks at them for a second, stunned before catching my gaze. Then she smiles at them.

"Thanks you guys, I appreciate it."

"So…" Warrick looks at her hesitantly. "We're good?"

"We're good." She confirms and smiles. God, I could watch that smile all day.

I realize that Greg has taken this opportunity to disappear back to work as Grissom clears his throat to hand out assignments.

He didn't catch the hint when the guys apologized, and he didn't get my glares either.

Within minutes we're all out on the field again and I realize just how hard it is to keep my hands to myself with Catherine so close.

----------------------------------------------------

more to come…?


	7. Difficulties with cleavage

_I am so sorry for the delay! You guys are amazing! Your kind reviews are the best high ever :)But I'm sorry to say I will have to put this fic on hold for a little while now. Only for the reason that I've planned to be nice to our girls and let the relationship develop. But if I continue writing right now it might quite possibly end up in death and despair.  
So I will leave you with this chapter and promise not to be gone for long._

_Love,  
Jellicos_

---------------------------------------****

**Chapter seven: Difficulties with cleavage.**

Fingerprints, dusting… Good Sara! And then the tape… just lift the print nice and easy… there you go. Now just label it… there you go Sara, just write; print, bathroom… Cath in the shower… Sidle! Get a hold of yourself!

I sigh deeply. This is really bad. I can't even work with her on a case without picturing her naked at the scene. Forbidden mental images creep vividly into my mind and I try desperately to shake them. Now really isn't the time.

"You got something?" Ok, that husky tone of hers really isn't helping matters! I turn around to face Catherine only to catch her leaning against the doorframe, watching me.

"How long have you been there?" I ask with a smirk on my face as I stand up from the bathroom floor, holding on to the old, white tub for balance.

"Oh, not long…" She tries her innocent voice, but her eyes deceive her. The case Sara! Focus on the case! My inner voice is so screwed…

"I... um… fingerprints." I stammer, holding up several pieces of lifting-tape. Nice Sidle! Two whole words! And judging by the expression on her face, Catherine has caught on to my train of thoughts.

"You about done here? Greg and I are set to go." Warrick's head pops up in the doorway and I nod.

"All set." I manage to utter, surprised at how well my voice is working now. I even manage a smile before picking my things up off the floor to follow him out.

Catherine is still smirking at me, so it's not exactly an accident when I brush up against her chest when I pass her in the doorway. Her gasp at the contact is enough to last me through the car ride back to the labs.

--------------------------

And the night continues in the same fashion. Oh, so innocent touches whenever we are in the same room. And it hasn't escaped me that by the middle of shift, her shirt is missing the three top buttons. Well, I'm not the only one who has noticed that and I find myself smacking Greg on the back of his head after he barely manages to keep from drooling over Catherine's cleavage.

"What!" He looks at me accusingly as he rubs the back of his head with his palm.

"Just preventing you from getting killed for ogling a co-worker." I shrug, leaving out the part that I'd be the one to kill him if he didn't stop looking at my girl like that.

"Aw, Sara! You know you're the only girl for me." He grins and bats his eyelashes at me. I'm about to make a snide remark when someone beats me to it.

"Sorry Greg, she's mine." I feel Catherine's arm pulling me with her as I try not to blush at her words.

"Ow, no fair!" Greg puts on his best fake-pout face. "You girls need some help with those track marks?"

"I think we'll manage." Catherine tells him before dragging me away.

"Where are we going?" I ask her, realizing that she's still pulling me with her down the corridor and not towards the AV-lab. But she just smirks at me.

"Catherine?" She's still ignoring my attempts to get her attention as she drags me further down the hall.

"The research rooms?" I ask as I see where she's heading and a mischievous grin spreads across her face as she pulls me into one of the small rooms at the deserted end of the HQ and closes the blinds.

"Cath, what are you doing?" I ask her, trying not to laugh at her strange behavior.

"What am I doing?" She's looking at me like that again. Like a feline predator cornering its prey. The look that makes my knees weak and my center throb.

"You've been driving me crazy all night, a brush here, a touch there…" She has me cornered now, I may be taller than she is, but right now she has me backed up against the wall, breathing heavily, without having touched me yet. God, I'm in trouble. "…and then I find you flirting with Sanders?" She raises an eyebrow and I know she's playing with me. Oh well. I can play too.

"He was paying far too much attention to your cleavage." I must say I'm proud of myself for being able to construct entire sentences at this point. And since she's standing so close, I cannot help but trace two fingers over the exposed skin on her chest. Her swift reaction blows me away. The tiniest of gasps escapes her lips as her pupils expand to twice the size.

"I can't really blame him though…" I whisper, noticing that my voice has dropped significantly.

"God Sara…" Hearing her moan my name like that causes my libido to rise to impossible heights and I close my eyes, kissing that same spot my fingers just traced.

I hear her gasp as her hands find my hips and pull me into her. A small fraction of my mind is registering that though secluded, we are still at work. But her pelvis rocking against mine sends every one of those thoughts flying.

"Cath… what are you doing to me?" I breathe raggedly as I kiss my way up her neck, her soft moans encouraging me as her hands move up my sides. She pulls away just enough to face me and I swear right then and there that if she'd let me I'd be forever lost in those deep blue eyes of hers.

"I'm seducing you." Her sultry whisper threatens to undo me as her eyes gleam with lust… for me. Every animal instinct in me awakens and all I know is that I want her, no; I need her, right here, right now.

With a growl I swirl her around and push her up against the wall. There is a look of surprise and pure arousal on her face as she pulls me to her with such force that I have to take leverage on the wall behind her as not to crush her. Her soft lips demand mine, claim them as she growls into my mouth. God, I've never been so turned on in my life! Her scent, the feel of her skin, those hands on me, her lips, and those incredible sounds she makes…

My hands find their way under her shirt and I think I may have ripped a few buttons trying to get it open, I really don't care right now since I just discovered that her bra clasps in the front.

Oh, this is my lucky day!

Snapping that clasp open I cup her soft breasts, teasing her nipples and enjoying those beautiful gasps she makes at my touch. I find the soft spot on her neck, sucking and biting the creamy skin and there it is… that soft pleading whimper. God she's addictive!

Thrusting my hip against her I know she can't take much more of my teasing. Her hands are tugging at the hem of my pants and she's panting loudly now.

"Please…" She moans and her hot breath on my neck sets me on fire. "Sara…Please… touch me…" Her pleads go right to my heart, down my body. I will never be able to deny her anything, least of all this. I capture her now swollen lips with mine, for in a searing kiss I can tell her so much more than I ever can in words.

"I love you." I whisper before I slide my hand down into her pants. I can't hold back that deep moan as I feel how wet she is. She's arching into my hand, moaning loudly and as I slip into her she's the most stunning sight I ever laid eyes on. Thrashing and thrusting against me, moaning and pleading, she –Catherine Willows- has surrendered all control to me, to what my hand is going to her.

The power surge is great, but what throws me in this moment is the overwhelming love I feel for this woman. From this moment on, I'd be forever lost without her.

---------------------------------------------

I can't keep the grin of my face as I walk back into the break room. Not only did I just have some of the best sex in my life, but I also got a date after shift.

If I hadn't stopped smoking a few years ago I'd really need a cigarette right now. As it is, I settle for caffeine.

"Hey! Smilie!" I turn at the voice cutting into my blissful daydreaming to find Greg, Nick and Warrick all sitting at the table watching me. I hadn't even noticed they where in here.

"Hey guys." I say, trying to keep from blushing, but I have no control over that grin on my face.

"Where did you run off to?" Greg asks me a little too cheery for my liking. "You look like a cat that just caught her mouse." I can't help but giggle at the metaphor. Wait! I never giggle! And holy crap, I think the guys just reached the same conclusion. They exchange glances and look at me curiously. Time for a change in topic. Now! Think Sidle, think! And for Christ sake, stop those images of Cath moaning from surfacing, now's not the time.

"Uh…so, how's your case coming along?" Nice Sidle! Well, at least it was work related and not sexy-Cath related. Oh God… I can still feel her hands on me… No, behave! Ok, now they are looking at me like I just laid a golden egg.

"Well, something must be up since you all have time to sit here and stare." I retort but they are still looking at me.

"Yeah, we where wondering about those track marks that you and Catherine where processing." Warrick clarifies and suddenly I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Crap! The track marks!

"We found a match." Oh, that voice is enough to make my insides turn to mush. I turn towards the door and there she is, looking as stunning and in-charge as always. As she walks up to us my heart starts to race but then I notice the manila folder in her hands. God I live that woman!

As the boys throw themselves over the folder to check the results she winks at me. I can't help a satisfied smirk as I see that her hair is still tussled and she's wearing a different shirt, one with a high collar.

"Nice work ladies." Warrick grins at us before he rushes out with Nick close behind.

"So ladies..." Greg leans over the table with a smirk. "Care for a drink after shift?"

"Sorry Greg." I smile at him, not daring to look at Catherine. "I've got plans."

He looks slightly disappointed at that, but turns to Catherine with new hope.

"How about you Catherine?" I can't look at her as she replies in fear I might completely blow the secret. But I can hear her tossing her hear over her shoulder and the smile in her reply.

"Not tonight. I have a hot date waiting." And with that she leaves the room. Greg sinks down in his chair with an exasperated sigh while I try desperately to remain cool. My heart is pounding like mad and my mind is reluctant to focus on anything else than her words.

"No one loves me…" Greg pouts dramatically, but quickly pulls himself up to smirk at me.

"So… Do we know who Catherine's mystery date is?" He asks with an excited smile.

"No idea." I say and shrug, but as I stand up to leave the room I could swear I was ten feet tall.

-------------------------------

Until next time my dears. Now, see the pretty button? You know what to do:) Please?


End file.
